Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Letter to Cool Publisher

To: [Cool Book Publishing Firm]



Dear [Cool Book Editor],



I am in the midst of writing a book which teaches how to live well while homeless. A review of your online catalogue reveals several similar books, including [Nuther Homelessness Book], which gives information on being homeless in a traditional way, the life, to use a crude term, of a bum. My book will offer readers an alternative to this stereotypical lifestyle, and will make a nice companion to that work in the catalogue or on the shelf. I propose a lifestyle which has all the advantages and freedoms that attend a rent free life, without the social stigma. My guide will teach methods of being homeless undetectably, invisibly. A person living as I recommend will be welcome in restaurants, malls, schools and at social events. When he walks onto a car dealership, a salesman will try to sell him a car. He will be employable. He will have options to change or maintain his lifestyle.



I spent nearly five years, from mid-1996 to the beginning of 2001, homeless, or as I liked to call it with a distributed household. I had storage, shelter, mailbox, telephone, shower, bathroom facilities, cooking equipment, and transportation, even access to television, radio, computer equipment, and ac power. I had the essence of a home. It was simply more geographically scattered than is traditional in our culture. My techniques could be adapted to anyones tastes and talents, and to the resources available anywhere.



I have enclosed a topic outline of the proposed book, several sample sections, and a self addressed stamped envelope for your convenience. There is no need to return any of the submitted materials. Thank you for considering my Survival Guide to Homelessness.



Sincerely,



Mobile Homemaker



Sent: 5 November 2004

Names omitted to protect the guilty.



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